When I was younger I had quite the anger problem and when I finally had enough embarrassing situations I asked God for help and He gave me 3 levels of growth or obedience on how to handle my anger.
The first, do not murder. The reason murder shows up when speaking about anger is because murder is a result of uncontrolled anger. This is the most basic form of obedience in which all people are expected to obey.
The second, watch your mouth. In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 5, He shows an even deeper level of obedience for those who would follow Him. He said, not only do not murder, but don’t even be angry with someone to speak against them. Not only are we to control our emotions so we do not kill, we are also to control our emotions not to kill with our words. To say “Raca or fool” is to slander that person’s reputation or character, which could do harm to the person if what you said causes that person to lose their livelihood.
The third, do not be angry at all. He showed me not only do not murder or talk about someone but not to be angry at all, letting the peace of God rule in my heart and mind. I asked, “How am I to do that when I cannot control when I feel anger?” Then He reminded me to feel anger is not sin, it is your emotional reaction to that anger. Jesus did not act out of anger. Every decision He made or action He took, was completely in control, and under the authority of the word of God. He always said, “Is it not written?” He could do this because He trusted God!
Father, thank you for showing us how to handle anger. Help us to remember when the anger starts to boil, that You are in control and we can trust You. In Jesus name, amen.